Yeah I know, it's a dangerous thing. Makes my head hurt too. (HA-HA)
I guess I didn't really have those rose colored glasses after all when it comes right down to it. I knew my "friends" talked about me behind my back. Granted I didn't know that my "friends" allowed someone who obviously dislikes me to call me things like fat, lazy and stupid in front of them. But then, jokes on me really because my "friends" were doing it too. I knew they talked about me, I even said as much and they came down on me saying I was paranoid and needed to stop thinking people didn't like me. I don't reckon it matters now but how can you call yourself a friend when you makes comments behind someones back like...
"She's got more issues than an AA meeting combined with The Surreal Life. I ignore most of what she says...and have been doing so for YEARS. "
Oh and here's a really friendly statement by another "friend"
"you pathetic, whiney-azz, better-be-glad-God-does-love-ya, 'cuz you're about to PI$$ ME OFF, paiintheAZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And let's not leave out...
"I hope she is really leaving this time. We'll see. "
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There were others, but these are the three that made me feel so bad. I put my trust in the wrong people it would seem. You know, one of those people I missed so badly when she left our group, I made public requests for her to return. All the while she was what, laughing behind my back at what an idiot I am??? She told me she cared about me. How can someone care about you and call you pathetic? *shrug*
Can I get over it and move on? Well of course. Does moving on mean that the women who hurt me so badly get another chance at it down the road? Nope. I'm well aware of who they are and what they do behind my back now. I tell my daughter all the time that I have eyes in the back of my head where she's concerned. Now I have them for these "friends" too.
Mama always said, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I don't know where these people fit...but in the next few days, the next couple of weeks or months, I suppose I'll find out. This is the last I've got to say on the matter.
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2 comments:
I hope that one day you will realize that us trying to keep those threads from surfacing was because of your feelings. If you don't ever see it that way, then that's OK too.
I also don't feel like I am going out on a limb when I say that we have learned a really hard lesson about ourselves...and it's not a situation *I* ever plan on getting in again.
As already said to you, I am sorry you had to experience that whole situation...
I sincerely hope that you *do* gain something positive from the whole thing. I hope all who were involved do, too.
~Mo
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