Identifying triggers and other personal bullshit

It's been a rough night. Hell it's been a rough nearly 24 hours.

First that whole drinking thing left me sick to my stomach and then some. Then we found out from our boss's son that our manager came out today and yelled at him. He'd come to deliver our paychecks (something he doesn't have to do) and she yelled at him because his CLASSIC CAR is too loud. She said he has to park by the office and walk back here because of the noise his car makes. But he didn't stay, he literally drove here, Alex ran out and got our checks and he left. I spoke with her and she fed me this line about how people were coming out see what was shaking thier windows. Sorry but at 4pm there is literally like 4 people here besides management and us. If people don't come running out to see what shakes thier windows when the fire department students drive here in thier old fire truck, or when people have had medical emergencies that have brought the FD and paramedics...then I doubt they came running out to see what shook thier windows when B came here. More like Dayle didn't like the noise and decided to yell at B just because. She does stuff like that. I know, I've been in the office and seen it. I've also heard her make up lies about how other tenants are bothered by this that or the other. Now I get to talk to the GM tomorrow because Dayle has NEVER taken issue with anyone else over this. She even went as far as to ask me, "So if someone's window is cracked now because of his car shaking the windows, who's supposed to pay for it?" OMFG!!! I suppose I'd better go check every window from here to B's house to count the cracked windows huh?

I called my prescription refills request in at Wal-Mart this evening. I actually spoke to a PERSON because I didn't have the bottles in front of me. Still, I told her exactly what I needed refilled (ALL FOUR PRESCRIPTIONS THERE YA DUMB BROAD), and I had her repeat it to me. I get to the pharmacy...they filled 3 prescriptions. Where's the fourth one? Ohhh apparently I didn't ask for it refilled but they'll do it now. I told her that I talked to a person who repeated ALL FOUR back to me. Whatever. This is the entire reason I take medication now. I got so angry (always internalized) that I started shaking. Not a reaction normal people have, but hey...I'm not normal.

I'm talking to Diana about stuff, the meds, the manager issue etc...and she keeps asking me, "Are you having an episode?" Or saying, "Boy you are wound up tonight, just relax." Finally I had to ask her, "Is me being this way going to be a problem for you because I don't feel like going to sleep right now and that's what taking a second klonopin is going to do." OY! No shit I'm having an anxiety/BP episode. GAH!!! Then she starts talking all this technical computer crap she's dealing with at work when she KNOWS I can't follow that very well on a normal day. She got offended when I said, "I'm not following this, you're confusing me." GRRR!!

You people (my net buds) are so lucky you don't have to deal with me on a daily basis when I'm off meds (been out since Monday or Tuesday). I so can't handle stuff very well. That's the whole reason I decided to medicate in the first place. I'm just absolutely tense and short tempered right now. Geez it's got my back in knots. Gonna go take a flexeril and my other meds. Be right back to share the GOOD stuff.

My last day at the bowling alley is tonight. SUCK!!! Alex and I will be going bowling tomorrow though for the Extreme bowling...as long as the money is there for it.

Good news. Hell GREAT NEWS!!! Alex was tested for the TAG (Talented And Gifted)Program. Her results are in. She scored an 82 in her combined results. That means she scored higher than 82% of the the students in her grade NATIONWIDE!!! Every test produced results that were either, above average or....WELL ABOVE AVERAGE!!!! My baby girl is really really SMART!!! I'm totally proud of her, and hell...totally proud of me. John said that I have to take some credit for teaching her good study habits and encouraging her in scholastic activities. I dunno...I just say YAY GENES!!!