Here we go again...

My husband, while I do love him, is the laziest man I've ever met. He's even started using Alex on the weekends to do parts of his job for him. Well now here it is after 5am, when he should be home but where he is? He's been bullshitting with this guy he met a week or so ago, since around 3am. He's still got ALL his unlocks to do AND a final hotel walk through. It's now past his shift and nothing is done. Not to mention this is the second time this shift that he's sat around with this guy. Then he had the nerve to ask if I'd help him with his unlocks.

Ten to one he loses his job, again. When he got fired from this company several years ago, his socializing on the job was a HUGE part of it.

Identifying triggers and other personal bullshit

It's been a rough night. Hell it's been a rough nearly 24 hours.

First that whole drinking thing left me sick to my stomach and then some. Then we found out from our boss's son that our manager came out today and yelled at him. He'd come to deliver our paychecks (something he doesn't have to do) and she yelled at him because his CLASSIC CAR is too loud. She said he has to park by the office and walk back here because of the noise his car makes. But he didn't stay, he literally drove here, Alex ran out and got our checks and he left. I spoke with her and she fed me this line about how people were coming out see what was shaking thier windows. Sorry but at 4pm there is literally like 4 people here besides management and us. If people don't come running out to see what shakes thier windows when the fire department students drive here in thier old fire truck, or when people have had medical emergencies that have brought the FD and paramedics...then I doubt they came running out to see what shook thier windows when B came here. More like Dayle didn't like the noise and decided to yell at B just because. She does stuff like that. I know, I've been in the office and seen it. I've also heard her make up lies about how other tenants are bothered by this that or the other. Now I get to talk to the GM tomorrow because Dayle has NEVER taken issue with anyone else over this. She even went as far as to ask me, "So if someone's window is cracked now because of his car shaking the windows, who's supposed to pay for it?" OMFG!!! I suppose I'd better go check every window from here to B's house to count the cracked windows huh?

I called my prescription refills request in at Wal-Mart this evening. I actually spoke to a PERSON because I didn't have the bottles in front of me. Still, I told her exactly what I needed refilled (ALL FOUR PRESCRIPTIONS THERE YA DUMB BROAD), and I had her repeat it to me. I get to the pharmacy...they filled 3 prescriptions. Where's the fourth one? Ohhh apparently I didn't ask for it refilled but they'll do it now. I told her that I talked to a person who repeated ALL FOUR back to me. Whatever. This is the entire reason I take medication now. I got so angry (always internalized) that I started shaking. Not a reaction normal people have, but hey...I'm not normal.

I'm talking to Diana about stuff, the meds, the manager issue etc...and she keeps asking me, "Are you having an episode?" Or saying, "Boy you are wound up tonight, just relax." Finally I had to ask her, "Is me being this way going to be a problem for you because I don't feel like going to sleep right now and that's what taking a second klonopin is going to do." OY! No shit I'm having an anxiety/BP episode. GAH!!! Then she starts talking all this technical computer crap she's dealing with at work when she KNOWS I can't follow that very well on a normal day. She got offended when I said, "I'm not following this, you're confusing me." GRRR!!

You people (my net buds) are so lucky you don't have to deal with me on a daily basis when I'm off meds (been out since Monday or Tuesday). I so can't handle stuff very well. That's the whole reason I decided to medicate in the first place. I'm just absolutely tense and short tempered right now. Geez it's got my back in knots. Gonna go take a flexeril and my other meds. Be right back to share the GOOD stuff.

My last day at the bowling alley is tonight. SUCK!!! Alex and I will be going bowling tomorrow though for the Extreme bowling...as long as the money is there for it.

Good news. Hell GREAT NEWS!!! Alex was tested for the TAG (Talented And Gifted)Program. Her results are in. She scored an 82 in her combined results. That means she scored higher than 82% of the the students in her grade NATIONWIDE!!! Every test produced results that were either, above average or....WELL ABOVE AVERAGE!!!! My baby girl is really really SMART!!! I'm totally proud of her, and hell...totally proud of me. John said that I have to take some credit for teaching her good study habits and encouraging her in scholastic activities. I dunno...I just say YAY GENES!!!

Last day of work, car woes and other stuff

So my last day at the bowling alley until September is Friday. *SIGH* I didn't even get the whole weekend, just one lousy day. I'm actually sad about this. I rather like the night staff there and TWO of them won't be there in September because they'll be off to college (high school seniors). But...Alex and I are going to the "Extreme" bowling Saturday night. I figure it won't hurt to let her stay up until 1:30pm LOL. I've been dying to bowl there for Extreme and because I worked it, couldn't. I can't wait!!! Hopefully my favorite regulars will be there, Howard will be for sure. Howard is a darling older gentleman who is mentally impaired. He does the Extreme bowling EVERY Friday and Saturday night. Now get this, Extreme starts at 11:30pm, but he gets there at like 9pm just to be sure he gets a lane. The other regulars are Chris and Debbie (a couple) and I'll miss them like crazy. I'm hoping to get thier phone number because I'd really like to hang out with Debbie some time.

Car woes. John's car went in for repairs AGAIN! It cost $80, lucky to be that low. But the boss has a friend who worked for Ford, Lincoln, Mercury for 20+ years and he gives us a discount since he now works out of his home. But get this...

The boss wrote a personal check to John to cover the cost of the repairs. That's how they usually do it, and then John just works off the debt. BUT!!! John's not working off this debt, I AM!!! Yah, I'm pissed. John decided that since I "have the time" that it'd just be easier if I did it. So I'll work the next two Sundays for the boss, and I net $40 out of the deal. The check was for $140 (we thought it'd be $100 for the car) which works out to be just over what I would earn on the books for that job. So...I make $40. Woo-hoo.

Ooops, bad blogger, bad bad blogger

Sorry, I've been....busy?

Work is sad. Each weekend that has gone by since I found out my post there ends on the 29th has been sort of a downer. I don't want to leave, the night guy doesn't want me to leave but we don't make the contracts. Hopefully I'll be able to go back there in September. Meanwhile I just have to pray there is somewhere else for me to go. Sounds like I'll be working in a town about 20 minutes up the highway, at night, ALONE, for 12 hours, two shifts. F*CK!!! The 14 hours I'm working right now are physically taxing on my body. Every work night I come home with my left shoulder (front and back) aching and sending pain down into my elbow. Probably just how I'm carrying my stress, but it sure feels like something I'm doing aggrevates an old injury.

It's prom season. I really wish I'd have taken my camera with me tonight. There was a girl there wearing a red dress. It was cut like a dress you'd see on a Tango dancer, only higher. You know, long down the one leg but cut up so that the other side ends somewhere just below vagina level. She looked like a slut. I'm sure she's probably a terribly nice girl (though I doubt a really NICE girl would dress like that). I commented, "You must have a really nice Mom." She asked, "Why?" So I told her, "No way in hell would my daughter be allowed out of the house in a dress like that." She said, "I'm an exchange student, my Mom's in Germany so I can wear what I want." Way to go American host parents. Ten to one when her mother sees the pictures, she has a fit. Another thing...what's with all the strapless gowns on busty young ladies? The small breasted girls had NO PROBLEMS with thier dresses. But the large busted girls were constantly tugging the tops of thier dresses up. My, that's how I want to spend a night out, adjusting my dress every five seconds.

I had a guy get in my face tonight because I asked him to take his conversation somewhere else. He and a friend are standing in the entry way as families are leaving (a Mother and two small girls in particular) and every other word out of this guys mouth was "F*ck". It was offensive to that mother and to me, so I told him to take it somewhere else. He got all anal about how there's no profanity sign posted and how it's after 11pm (wasn't even 10pm yet, guess who'd been drinking). Oh and that at this time of night it's an all adult establishment, because there's a bar there. Whatever. I told him, "Look, put on your big boy underwear and take it somewhere else, or leave." When I told the night manager that later (making sure they hadn't complained about me) he busted up laughing.

Yesterday a hispanic truck driver who wanted to park his rig in the lot (after being told NO well over 6 times since January) called me a bitch to whomever he was talking to on the phone (I'd told him to leave). Then he ran over the curb LOL. As I helped him pull chunks of the curb out from between his tires so that he could leave I said, "I'm not a bitch, I'm doing my job." So he got this look on his face, said, "Oh you heard that? Sorry". Yah whatever. So then he gets back in the truck, still on the phone (hands free mic) and prattles on and calls me a PUTA. So I said, "I'm not a PUTA either." He said, "You speak spanish? Sorry." Finally I'd had enough of this asshole so I said, "Si, pendeho, yo hoblo espanol. Adios cavrone." I'm sure I slaughtered the spelling there. Asshole.

Anyway, enough about work. I've got a good buzz going from my meds so it's time to go to bed. I have to get up at 10am (almost 4am now). Going up to Portland to hunt for parking so I can meet a couple people and try to find someplace to eat. I'm a little frustrated that they've been up there for a couple days and haven't managed to find a restaurant for me to meet them at. Parking in Portland is a bitch!

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad night

NIGHT FROM HELL!!!

Tonight started crappy from the minute I walked into work. I get jumped on by the CM (the main boss there) because I haven't been filling out activity reports. I didn't know they expected me to. Then I get jumped on for not writing an incident report about something that happened last Saturday. Uhh, dunno exactly what happened because I get called in by T. only to have E. tell me that he's got it under control. Kind of a short IR to write huh?

So I call John who calls our boss (The actual OWNER of our company, who loves John). John calls me back and says that our boss said that writing activity reports and incident reports isn't something that is in the contract. Well the last guy wrote reports. Apparently he'd made them up himself on his computer because there were NEVER any report sheet issued by our company. Oh fine. PAH! So I get told to tell the CM to call the owner of our company on Monday to discuss paperwork. Then the CM tells me (The bombshell), "Yeah I have to call him Monday anyway. We only use security from September until the end of April, when we have leagues. I need to remind him that we don't need security past the 28th and 29th." FUCK! Unless some miracle occurs, I'm out of a freaking job.

We so don't need this right now. We're barely making it as it is.

The rest of the night just spiralled straight into hell. A "bi-sexual" (see I already know way more about her than I need to), got her nose out of joint because some guy called her a carpet muncher. She's drunk and she's screaming at this one guy, but he's not the one that said it apparently. So instead of just blowing her off, he comes running out of the bowling alley and says, "You want to talk to me like a man and act like a man, I'll treat you like one you fucking bitch." Nice. So I get that settled. Then I had a guy come roaring into the bowling alley in his huge monster truck, and when I told him to leave (reckless driving, speeding and generally being a dick get you kicked off the property) his passenger starts giving me a hard time. Geez I am only doing my job you ass hat! Then some kids showed up that had a problem with D, a really sweet guy at work. They poured soda pop all over his car.

To top the night off I got a nose bleed. Well no, scratch that. I got TWO nose bleeds. One came just after the turn the lights out for "Extreme Bowling" and the other came just as the lights came back on...so about two hours apart. Geez!

Fucking SSD people think I'm fully capable of handling my job. Yeah, that's why I wanted to take Mz "Bi sexual" and Mr "Wanna talk like a Man" and bash thier heads together repeatedly until thier brains oozed out. K, yeah. I'm fine.

Scuze me whilst I go medicate the shit out of myself.

Go speed racer....

right on back out the way you came. Yep, you heard me you sorry ass drunk piece of crap MINOR. *flexes muscles* "But there were puddles, I couldn't help it. I had to speed through them." Blah blah blah I don't want to hear your shiznit, just leave.

Ah to be able to talk that way would have been great! Instead it sounded more like...

Me-You might as well get back into your vehicle.
Them-Why?
Me-Because that's the way the boss wants it. He says that if you'll act like a jerk out here in the lot, speeding and not watching for people or kids, then you'll more than likely be a jerk inside and they don't need your business.
Them-Serious? It was the puddles man, I had to do it.
Me-It's the boss man, you gotta go.

Then their buddy comes out of the bowling alley to find out why his "homies" can't come in.

Him-Can't you just pretend they didn't do it?
Me-Sorry not my style. Even if I wanted to, I'm not about to do it with my supervisor sitting right there. (John was visiting me for a few minutes. Technically since he WAS on duty at the time, he IS my immediate supervisor).
Him-Where?
Me-Uhh, see the nice white car with the pretty lightbar on top and the mean looking man sitting behind the steering wheel? That'd be him.
All three guys-Ohhhh shit. Sorry.

Ahhh the joys of my job. John ended up having to drive over to thier vehicle to help "encourage" thier departure. Then he had to go up to the entrance because they'd decided to park in the driveway to wait. He's so big and scary. Cough.

I call them mellow yellow.....

Yep, that's right. My magic little pills that make everything easier to manage. I still get the mood swings but they aren't these HUGE monsters. ALREADY a noticed change, I likey much! My swearing came back for a while but is gone. See I get relaxed and I forget to watch my mouth. But the euphoric phase of the medication is fading a bit and I'm starting to feel more in touch. Bummer. I see how people could get "addicted" to these. Of course anyone who knows me knows I don't believe in addiction. I believe addiction is a cover up for poor self control and lousy will power. For YEARS I heard, "Your addicted to smoking." Toss off wankers I was not, I simply LIKED smoking. Me and my Marlboro Menthol Ultra Light 100's (in a box) were buddies. Smoking gave me an excuse to go outside and get away from whatever was going on. Escaping parenting and partnering. Smoking was fun to do while driving, though I never managed the left handed smoking them. I miss smoking. There's a whole social group that I used to fit with but don't anymore because I'm one of those "gasp" reformed smokers. Nah, I'm not reformed, just tired of the crap from Mom, John and Alex. So I quit, gosh I think it's been TWO YEARS since I stuck a cig butt between these lips, or close to it. Geez. *takes a moment*
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Ok Moment is over, back to what I was saying.

These little pills put my brain in a funky groovy space. Kind of like how I think pot does with potheads. You know that shit happens, but who gives a rats ass. Yah, that feeling. Case in point. Took my pills. About two hours later I realized my husband wasn't going to have a parking space if I didn't move my car into the garage. So I get in my car and back it over to the garage. Garage light is burned out. Bummer. I try backing into the dark garage and am only successful in *SMACK* wiping the passenger side mirror dealy clean off the car. My response? "Well shit. Oh well, I'll get it fixed later." Before the mellow yellows..."Oh my God. Look what I did! Oh I suck! What am I going to do? John's going to kill me! How am I supposed to fix this? Can I fix it myself and hide it? Crap should I leave the car in the garage until he's gone? *tears, hysterics* Hell even when John got home while I was using MASKING TAPE to put the mirror back up I just sort of cried a little. Why? "Honey look what I did, I broke my cars arm. She's gonna hate me now or something." He just laughed, then I laughed. Then the next day $135 later, new mirror. Oh btw, I SO did a killer job with the masking tape. That mirror didn't so much as wiggle all the way to the dealership. HAHAHA take that manly men who think only they can fix things!

Hooray for mellow yellow!