Blast from the past

When I was in middle school I had friends. Not just any friends, the BEST friends. There were five of us in the 7th grade, tight as could be. Marlene, Charlene, Maryjean, Lisa and myself. Often times one pair would get in a little tiff and so our dynamics would change for a bit, but we were "The Five". In eighth grade we weren't a unit anymore but I was still friends with them and considered them all to be my very best friends...especially Marlene, Lisa and Maryjean.

Well as an adult I found them again (those three). Lisa and I talk on the average at least once a week. We get together when we can but her daughter is in 90238409765 different things and that keeps them pretty busy. Marlene never answered any of my e-mails. Maryjean did for a while and then things just sort of stopped.

Tonight MJ showed up at the bowling alley. I recognized her right away, she looks pretty much the same. Which of course makes me feel like shit. I'm fat, my hair is thinning and my face is all broken out thanks to mother nature. She looks the SAME!! She's still slightly heavy but not much (I totally have waist envy, she has one...I don't). She looks so good!!! The only thing I don't remember is glasses, I don't think she wore glasses back then. She's got a young daughter too. Well I gave her a card with my name, number, e-mail and address. I doubt she'll call though. I got the impression by how she was interacting with me around her friends, that she's something of a snob now. Still, it was nice to see her.

I really miss my friends. Those are the only two years I'd be willing to repeat. Even though they were the years where the abuse from my Mom started getting much worse and I was miserable at home...it's the ONLY time in my life as a kid where I had real friends.

The Legend Of Drunken Bastard...

I think this thing is going to turn into a blog about my work. Every weekend something happens that I feel the need to talk out.

Yesterday was great, nice and slow. Sort of a letdown because we were expecting a large group of teenagers fresh off a drunken party but apparently they either got too drunk, or didn't party at all. There were all of 30 people there for the night bowling. Nice and calm.

Tonight? Soooo not the case. First, it was packed when I arrived. Stayed busy all night until about 10pm and then thinned out nicely. We were starting to think it'd be another slow night. Right around 10:15pm people starting coming in droves. They can't get lanes from 10:30pm until 11:00pm because they're clearing out the bowlers already inside. At 11pm anyone still left bowling either has to pay $14 per person or leave so that the 11:30 night bowling crowd can have the lanes.

There was a huge group that showed up about 11:15 or so. I'm talking multiple cars filled with people. The lead car flipped a spin (pulled up his e-brake) in the lot. I'm supposed to kick those guys off the property. They wouldn't leave. They weren't trying to get past me into the bowling alley, they just wouldn't leave. So I went in and told the night manager what was going on and he told me to have them come in and talk to him. Well he recognized one of the guys, so he let them stay. After telling me to get rid of people like that, he lets them stay. The bowling alley was full (all lanes occupied) by 11:36.

When it closed down for the night and everyone came out, the huge group of people (now much more intoxicated) came out. They had ZERO respect for me. They were making fun of me (oh don't pull your e-brake when you leave, the security might get you! She might call the cops, watch out. Ooohhh scary security...etc). But what should I expect after doing my job just to have the night manager make me look like an ass. But I'm done. Let them deal with the stupid assholes. Anyone that wants to come bowling, can go right on in. If they have an issue, "Oh I'm sorry but I thought it was ok to let them in. YOU DID!!!" Sure it could cost me my job, but he's doing a shitty job of backing me up when I try to enforce the rules that they gave me in the first place. UGH!

At one point the drunken bastards had a basketball out and were screwing around playing ball in the lot (after closing). I can't leave until the place is clear. So of course it took them FOREVER to leave. Actually, they didn't even go until they saw one of the employees leave.

ESTUPIDO!!! IDOTA!!!

I've lost all my pictures except what was on photobucket. Somehow brainiac me managed to reformat the wrong harddrive. I'm so angry and sad I could just scream!!! Now I only have a handful of pictures and NONE of the last few months of Abbigails life. I can't believe what an ass I am!!!

They're all butts!!!!!

The stupid juvenile lame-o males the come to the bowling alley for "Extreme" bowling that is. I'm TIRED of them trying to sneak drinking beer in thier cars. I catch them 99% of the time. If they get away with it because somehow I missed it, they ALWAYS dump the cans and bottles in the parking lot which results in me logging thier license plates which results in them NOT getting in next time they show up because, "Sorry. You were seen dumping out beer cans/bottles into our parking lot. That's littering and also leads us to believe you were drinking, which is not allowed. I'm also tired of them driving like our parking lot is a NASCAR track. Oh, I'm damn sick of the ones who show up with one or two LEGAL drinkers and sneak thier booze all night so they leave as underaged drunks. Or the ones who are legal and leave plastered, getting loud in my lot.

Finally...I'm sick and tired of stupid drunks who can't hold thier liquor getting into fights in my parking lot which I then must break up. I don't care how many times I hear, "I'm sorry Security Lady." It still sucks!

This has been my comedy relief moment for the day!

Work sucked!

As I said in my previous post, it's freezing outside. I think it's around 30 degrees, though I heard 27 earlier. It rained on the way to work and so of course all that water froze on my car. The parking lot had spots of ice through it by the time I left too. But mostly I'm cold because I STAND/SIT OUTSIDE FOR EIGHT FREAKIN' HOURS!!!! I had a fight in the parking lot tonight that I had to break up before it got into the physical stage. Unfortunately one guy wouldn't stop egging on another guy and actually started goading him, "Nuthin' you can do against a .45 nigga". Sigh. Stupid people. So of course those two HAD to be part of a huge group in which NEITHER of them were drivers. That mean the entire group had to leave. That sucked for the rest of them. Then later another group showed up for the "Extreme Bowling". Everything is fine and then I hear, "Pssssssssss" and look over in time to see one guy with a can in his head. The driver of the SUV he came in says, "Dude what's that?" The guy answers quite calmly, "It's just a beer." A BEER??? Ok for one it's against the bowling alley rules. For two it's against the law here to have alcohol in public (except in bars or during events that have a designated "beer garden"). For three, he's a freakin MINOR!!! So of course AGAIN I had to have an entire group leave due the stupidity of one person. I hate that!! I have no problem booting one person, even get a kick out of it. But when 9 other innocent people have to leave because of one of thier friends, it sucks.

K, I'm freakin' cold and I've been home for almost a half hour now. Gotta go get warm!!!

Sometimes his complete selfishness astounds me.

First let me set this up right.

This evening as I am eating my "breakfast" (working nights means that my first meal is breakfast even though it's dinner time). my husband says to me, "Don't worry about lunch, I'll fix it and bring it down to you. Unless you want to pack a lunch." I said I wasn't real keen on bologna and I didn't feel like cutting up cheese to make a sandwich out of it. So he tells me, "Well I'm cooking anyway so I'll bring you down something." Ok great.

I call from work and ask my husband to have my daughter wrap up the last two pieces of my pizza so that I can have it as left overs. He tells me, "No. I'm eating it. I told him that I wanted it when I came home and he said, "NO. I'm eating it." So I asked if he was still cooking a meal to bring to me. Nope, but he'll have something ready for me when I get home. I told him that I wanted the pork chops that need to be cooked anyway, and then mashed potatoes and corn. He was thinking fish instead of the pork but the rest of the meal was already something he planned on. Ok fine he says.

Well here it is 2:30am. I just worked an 8 hour shift outside in the cold (freezing actually, as in the wet ground froze even). I notice that the lights are off in the kitchen as I pulled up. I walk in the house, no husband in the living room. Where is he? Still sleeping. He'd called around 11pm to tell me that he was going to take a nap before getting up to come down to help me out at 1am. Which of course he didn't show up. So I thought, great does this mean there is no dinner? Sure enough, nothing got cooked. On top of that, the dog was doing the pee-pee dance. So I had to take him out because apparently my husband can't.

I know after 7 years I should be used to it but right now I'm sick and tired of all the, "Have the girl fix my lunch for me.", "What's for dinner, I have to work tonight?", "My feet hurt so I can't help you carry in the groceries.", "Well he never goes for me when I take him outside." (the dog) And all the empty promises. I'll do this for you. Since I bought that, you can buy this...but there's never enough money when it comes time for my something to buy.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

I started thinking....

Yeah I know, it's a dangerous thing. Makes my head hurt too. (HA-HA)

I guess I didn't really have those rose colored glasses after all when it comes right down to it. I knew my "friends" talked about me behind my back. Granted I didn't know that my "friends" allowed someone who obviously dislikes me to call me things like fat, lazy and stupid in front of them. But then, jokes on me really because my "friends" were doing it too. I knew they talked about me, I even said as much and they came down on me saying I was paranoid and needed to stop thinking people didn't like me. I don't reckon it matters now but how can you call yourself a friend when you makes comments behind someones back like...

"She's got more issues than an AA meeting combined with The Surreal Life. I ignore most of what she says...and have been doing so for YEARS. "

Oh and here's a really friendly statement by another "friend"

"you pathetic, whiney-azz, better-be-glad-God-does-love-ya, 'cuz you're about to PI$$ ME OFF, paiintheAZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And let's not leave out...

"I hope she is really leaving this time. We'll see. "
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There were others, but these are the three that made me feel so bad. I put my trust in the wrong people it would seem. You know, one of those people I missed so badly when she left our group, I made public requests for her to return. All the while she was what, laughing behind my back at what an idiot I am??? She told me she cared about me. How can someone care about you and call you pathetic? *shrug*

Can I get over it and move on? Well of course. Does moving on mean that the women who hurt me so badly get another chance at it down the road? Nope. I'm well aware of who they are and what they do behind my back now. I tell my daughter all the time that I have eyes in the back of my head where she's concerned. Now I have them for these "friends" too.


Mama always said, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I don't know where these people fit...but in the next few days, the next couple of weeks or months, I suppose I'll find out. This is the last I've got to say on the matter.

My pretty balloon popped and my rose colored lenses broke too

To quote the WW of Oz, "What a world, what a world, what a world." Or uhm, was it "I'm melting, melting, melting."? Either one works.

I'm so tired. It's amazing how being the cream that rises to the top, can make you feel more like the foam on a head of beer. One little puff of air and away I'm gonna fly!!! Tired, tired, tired. Have I mentioned I'm tired. I've just about decided that women can really suck worse than guys sometimes. I'm also starting to remember why I liked boys so much and only had a couple really close chums when I was little. Girls can be so nasty to each other.

This reminds me...work very hard to not talk about my friends (even when I'm mad at them). I must take it to thier face. Yep! Well, ok so I'll probably still tell my husband about it. I don't know what's harder really, forgiving or forgetting. Well ya, forgiving is easy. Forgetting...how do you forget when someone says they wish you'd leave? Sigh. I hate this it's messy.