Thursday, April 05, 2012

I have come back.

Life has gone full circle since I last posted. I've noticed that this blog seemed to really cycle around my relationship with my husband. So I want to close that cycle with this post.

John was unfaithful. During a period of time when I was facing life threatening health complications, he threw his money away on marijuana. He shared his body with another woman and didn't confess to me until last week. So not only was my health in jeopardy because of my own body, he put me at risk by having sex with someone else. There is no way that someone who knows what love truly is, would do that. I'm okay with the divorce coming now. It will always hurt and it will take me a long time to fully accept that my marriage failed but that I did not fail.

I want only great things for him, because that's just how I love. I know I am better than he ever deserved. I took care of him, loved him, treasured him, shared all of myself with him. What else is there? Unless he has a major wake up call and learns to get in touch with his feelings completely instead of living in denial...he'll never be truly happy. Any woman getting involved with him now, deserves what she is going to get.

I deserve better.

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